I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize