found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Ur keys r in ur purse. ur purse is on the couch. ur cigs r on ur front seat. u drank all ur wine. mollie took ur jkt bc u cockblocked her. and in case anyone asks, the saints won 31-17.
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
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