peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
Heard about your divorce. Let me know if I can do anything for you or your penis ;-)
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