Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
Guess who woke up with a hangover this morning? The same person whose parents found out and woke her up by banging pots and pans with wooden spoons.
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
God, I missed his penis.
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