I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
Strip club or gay bar tonight?
I am an emotionally compromised bisexual.
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I'm watching Netflix with my cats and eating homemade bread. Everyone and everything can go and fuck itself.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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