We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
I just reenacted what a cuntadactyl would act like by putting straws in my mouth as teeth and roaring, Plz come get me.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
