Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
So I came home baked last night and made about 60% of my jeans into jorts...
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
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