kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
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