Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Sry I called you an 8
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
I never thought I'd hear the words "aww you pulled out" and "you're so sweet" in the same sentence.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
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