We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
I don't know who the girl crying at my kitchen table eating gravy from the KFC container is, but I feel like she could be my soulmate
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
You were drink-wine-from-the-bottle drunk trying to take everybody's blood pressures again.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
