Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
its like i had a thought but i dont know what the words are for it
I feel like you're gonna be reading this at 6 AM in a ditch or under a bridge, but please remember...I offered to drive you home. And you said no.
The sad thing is that it's 6:45 and you're not far off.
It was extremely weird and uncomfortable mid blow job she looks up and says " tell me Simon Cowell makes your dick hard"
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
Randomize