Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
after the fucking you spent twenty minutes vomiting naked and shaking your dick at my roommates. luckily, i don't remember that, or i'd have to be really insulted.
I wore his All-American medal during sex. I came in first that night.
And then the night went full on bisexual.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
