dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
i tried slipping money on her dresser whenever she brings guys home hoping she'll start to question her goals in life... i think its only encouraging her
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
WHY DID HE INTRODUCE ME TO HIS MOM? CAN'T HE JUST HIDE ME LIKE EVERYONE ELSE I'VE EVER DATED?@!
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
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