Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
She cried. My mom screams. And nut went everywhere. It was all around a bad situation.
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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