Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
you just kept swimming in circles and whenever someone would try and coax you out you would scream "i CANNOT drown, my brother is the supervisor of a water park!!
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
3pm strippers are depressing
His penis makes me feel like a mystic dragon sliding down a turbo slide covered in white gumdrops and sour cashews
Same.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
