Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
After Sake bombs he tried to puke into an alluminum beer bottle and shot vomit streaks in a perfect V out the sides of his mouth and hit BOTH girls he had bought drinks for that night. He was like an Icon of Cock-blocking yourself.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
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