Sorry I thought I was a lizard earlier.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
Randomize
