I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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