You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
Randomize
