I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
You were doing bacon vodka shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce. You're officially fucking disgusting. I love you.
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
Randomize
