wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
