we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
