we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dude she looked like Newman from Seinfeld I'm done with this wingman shit
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
So I have been told that I licked your eyebrows last night
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
Randomize
