Bro can a girl get pregnant if i jizz in her mouth?
hahahahahahahahahahaha
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
I've honestly never felt so much emotion towards a wall
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Just waxed 95% of the hair off my vag. If he doesn't enjoy this tonight, you will, whether you like it or not.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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