PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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