the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
Please stop leaving drunk voicemails with your new black/Irish accent.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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