How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
Theres a note on my antibiotics that says "Do not chew or crush. Swallow whole." I think that would be a good tattoo for just above my penis.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
Just gave my pregnant cat a safe sex talk. That high.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
I don't know who's idea it was to get wine for a frat party but my poor pitiful hung over self really fucking hates them.
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