I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Sorry about my life...
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize