my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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