Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
I just dropped a chicken nugget on the floor and seriously prayed that it would be ok....I think this job is making me crazy.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
My psychiatrist just sent me a dick pic
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