I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
Randomize
