i would punch a child for taco bell
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
You were literally hanging out the window and dancing to the remix to Ignition when we drove you home
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
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