So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
After your flask fell out of your leg brace and you told your RA that it was juice, you tried to unlock your dorm room but your key was attached to your bra so he ended up seeing your boobs
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Randomize
