yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I thought I was pretty much sober now but then I realized I've been eating scrambled eggs with my hands...
I stole all of the toasting champagne and did an interpretive dance to "wind beneath my wings". I am literally everything you're not supposed to do at weddings.
But your showmanship is impeccable.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
You screamed "i promise ill stop blowing your brother" in the middle of a packed restaurant at 1pm. We should maybe rethink our relationship.
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Goat in kitchen.....explanation?....
Randomize
