very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
Worst part of St. Paddy's...me drunkenly crying to a U2 cover band.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
