Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
Randomize
