Thanks for last night it was amazing as always
What are you talking about
You've got to be kidding me
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
At leat we can cross off 'having sex in a classroom' on our bucket list.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
