My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
i love accidental penises.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
having someone tell me to "prepare my vagina" is not really something I want to hear..
They just asked a fat guy to move to the other side of the plane. Send me a pic of your tits incase we crash
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Can we be in one of those super weird relationships where you carry me around everywhere?
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
Mixing Powerade and white wine has been one of my better ideas.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
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