dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Your drunk naked friend is roaming the living room. Started roaming my room. Please come retrieve him
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
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