My fight-or-flight response is really more fight-or-fuck
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He tried to convince me that it wasn't really that small and all he had to do was pull back the groin fat. It was still small.
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
Randomize
