We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
