There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
Fucked her on the patio while some dude drove by on a mower. He waved. Twice.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
