You're completely useless in the revolution.
I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
My penis has a 100% approval rating. He has never received a formal complaint. If you'd like to file one, you can go fuck yourself.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm not a home wrecker but if one more married man with a yacht asks me to go scuba diving I'm NOT saying no
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Randomize
