last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
what is it with giant penises always finding me
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
Thank you for always being there for me.
Sorry wrong derek... Do u have any weed?
Randomize
