Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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