Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Then you started screaming that this was the first time you did e and that you had a 4.8 gpa, that was right before you almost suffocated between that one girl's tits.
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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