he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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