worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
How is it medically possible for my urine to smell like espresso
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Yes, the maid of honor did just deep throat the mic during the toast. How do I follow that?
Randomize
