Where is the hickey?
smell my finger.
dont like to call her my roomate, too cordial. i refer to her as the whore that was assigned to live with me
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
Woke up this morning on my doorstep in a basket with a branch, a lipstick lightning bolt on my head and a sign that said "the boy who lived." i love you guys.
I would've hung out with you if I had the capacity to do anything besides fall over and pee on things
I was orgasming and dying of laughter at the same time. I think I've found the One.
Life lesson 8263 if drinking a beer in the shower be careful when shampooing... Tresemme flavored rolling rock sucks
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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