dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
Just so you know, each of my boobs fits perfectly in a martini glass.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
We damn well better have a snow day tomorrow. We just broke out the rum.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
I woke up in my bed with candy and beer bottles all around me and i dont know where any of it came from. I love valentines day.
There were no words. I got in his car, took my pants off, threw my shirt out the window, and got things started. After we were done I collected my clothes, gave him a kiss, and crept back into my house.
You're like the sex ninja. How doesn't he love you?!
Randomize
