I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
Randomize