Will you blow on my dice?
she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
My mom is such a hoarder. I found a deer candelabrum last night, it had antlers has candle holders. It was like a redneck menorah.
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
you took my bottle from me saying i was unprepared for its magical qualities. then you buckled it in the backseat.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
I was going to do a cardio thing but then tacos.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
I tried making my own red bull with crushed up caffeine pills, bubbley water and flintstones chewable vitamins. The ER doctor sead I'm lucky to be alive.
Randomize
