I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Randomize
