Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Fuck appropriateness.
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
I did not have sex with him because he had a puppy…finding out he had a husky pup waiting back at home was just an unexpected plus
he never texted me back from last night. i think brining out the suction cup dildo was a mistake
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
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