dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
In your drunken glory you promised me, tongue, 12 naked pics, and 1,800 breakfasts.
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
