READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
There was so much jailbait at the festival that there was no other option but to drink my morals away
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
I feel like a sex bomb and I need to go explode on somebody
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
