1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
