yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
a queef is a wish your heart makes.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
Randomize
