trying to figure out who visited the hillshire farms website enough for it to be in my top sites.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
But seriously I might need help getting spray paint off of my body.... But don't worry about the penis I scrubbed him already
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
I need to get laid. Right now that freshman frat pledge & my Econ professor are the leading candidates
That’s quite a spread
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