what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
This has been your unwelcomed wake-up call, brought to you by exes united. Have a good day, to opt out please type "STOP", to continue but act as though they do not exist please enter "DON'T CARE" for random daily wake up texts by exes united please press "PSYCHO!"
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
I bet Billy Ray Cyrus wishes he had pulled out now....
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
You've hit rock bottom, swam around the ocean floor, and brought back silverware from the titanic.
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
Randomize
