Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
i just threw up in front of the washington monument. such a scenic puke.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
If a handjob meant commitment I would literally touch zero dicks
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Randomize
