Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Somebody left a mini pitcher in the bathroom. Think its safe?
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
