:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Well I'm missing half a toenail if that's any indication of my night
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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