i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
It was just a squirrel
You act like its normal to see a squirrel in the bar
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
