ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Puking on the side of the road and legitimately just got a head nod and thumbs up from an 80 year old man on a Segway... What the fuck?
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
