called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
Using a Nedi Pot after doing lines... at least I'm a health conscious drug user?
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
You're the Michael Phelps of my vagina. Most decorated Fuckolympian of all time.
Am I going to be on condom boxes?
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
The number of tpain songs that actually relate to my life right now is embarrassing.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
